THE ORACLE THAT IS YOUR PUSSY
Lately I’ve been trying to make my pussy happy. I realized I hadn’t asked her in a long time if she was happy. So I started paying attention. I’m challenging myself and I’m challenging you to do it too!
It turns out that she is not only a moral compass, but also an oracle! Fuck reaching out to your best friend, psychic or tarot cards – just ask your pussy! If you get in bed with someone and she is wet, she is telling you something. If you get in bed with someone and she isn’t – she is telling you something. And that’s just the beginning.
Let’s be real, we’ve all probably been through different waves of feminist “Pussy Power” moments and seen them drift away like that bloody Playtex Super Deodorized blob in the toilet.
But there is magic and power there and I’m starting to pay attention again and I think you should too! You don’t need a magic kit or a spell book for this. IT’S YOUR BODY. You were born with it.
So what if we listened? Really listened to our bodies and became a little more in tune with our wombs? There are small ways we can do it that doesn’t mean you have to wear a Diva Cup and dance naked in the woods (tho why the fuck not that sounds great?!) but it means letting go a little bit and spending some time listening again.
Do you suck your belly in? When I started dancing ballet as a kid they told me to hold my belly in and I’ve done it ever since. I’ve tried to stop it but it’s a habit and I’ve now realised it’s blocking the gossip train from my head to heart to womb! I’ve been really lately to try and let my belly hang out more, so the energy flow to my puss isn’t restricted and all the energy centers can chat like me and my girls at a juice bar.
Do you have cramps? Then stay in bed, don’t ignore them. If you start to listen your cramps will tell you things, they’ll remind you of a trauma they are releasing with every cramp. I once completely blocked out that a guy I was dating slapped me in the face because I’d had too much tequila. With my next cycle I had a shit tonne of cramps and I was so fucking pissed at him as it all came back to me. Instead of taking 3 pain-killers, sucking it up, and numbing out what had happened I let it all come up and I screamed “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” I realized I had hidden emotions in there and once a month they get to come out HARD.
Forgive me for sounding like a 1960s feminist but why are we still shoving chlorinated cotton in there and then numbing feelings with drugs? She is talking to us for a reason and we aren’t listening. We’re all clenched up. Restricting the flow. Skinny jeans tight. God knows what’s in the fabric of the stretch lace undies I’m wearing, but I doubt it’s super breathable – looks “hot” tho. Maybe it’s time I burn my panties and let my puss breathe? I’ve decided I’m going to go panty less, letting her out.
You know how after you have sex and go to the grocery store people swarm around you? Dudes wink at you like you’re in an Herbal Essence commercial. It’s not cause you smell like semen or female ejaculate or cause you have a sign on your head that says “JUST BEEN FUCKED!” It’s that happy pussy vibe you’re livin in. Imagine if we all lived in that vibe all the time….
