TODAY is the last day to join the Quest for Love Summit and usually I don’t do these type of online summits, but my friends Paul and Erica invited me into it, and I trust those two. And I had a really beautiful conversation with Emily (the founder) of it. I appreciate this conversation because I am deep and earthy and no bullshit in my pre-menstrual phase in the video.
I don’t smile extra, or when I don’t feel like smiling.
I don’t laugh when it’s not true.
I don’t have makeup on or my hair done.
And when I first watched it I thought: “Geeze I seem a bit tough and bitchy!”
But, I realize that’s the conditioning that asks women to always be cheerful!
And THANK GODDESS I don’t play that mother effing game anymore.
I show up as me. And realness is magnetic, right?
Even when it is tender/sensitive/awkward/earthy/timid/fiery… I am committed to showing up truly as I am in the moment.
When we show up “real” – that means we are showing up with all the habits of our karmic patterns exposed – and instead of tightening and hiding them under another mask, letting them see the light.
Thus revealing our flaws instead of acting “how we wish we were.”
OOOF NOT AN EASY PRACTICE, LET ME TELL YOU!
But worth it.
The karmic patterns are yet again not the “True Us” of course!
I have only caught glimpses of this “True Self” in deep ceremony, deep practice, deep nature, deep artistic creation, deep love making…
A great teacher once said something like: “Me is a set of patterns and reactions I have come to know as “SELF.”
How do we access the SELF behind the patterns?!
It’s what I practice and am curious about each month in my online community and membership Radical Awakenings and in my daily practice.
When the world says: “Be yourself! Be true to you! Be authentic!” that’s cool and all… but who is this “YOURSELF” and if you don’t do some DEEP and honest and curious inquiry, you may set off along the wrong path of self-expression, you know as you express the set of patterns and reactions you call YOU.
Insert COSMIC LOL! Or as a mentee/magic woman in our community once said: “The cosmic giggle!”
Expressing someone else’s idea of who you are/should be on repeat instead OR continuing to knock at the Soul Door until you get a good whiff of your essential essence that you dance with like an interstellar ballerina and FEEL that difference – like the difference between a finely crafted chocolate from Guatemala you nibble slowly or a whole foods chocolate bar that’s healthy enough but you gobble it fast…
Does that make sense? 🙂
Anyway, I don’t mean to get terribly existential or sound pretentious… but I tire of the conversation that doesn’t acknowledge that the SELF UNDER what we have easy access to is the one I wish we were all curious to get to know!
THAT DEEP SOUL SELF.
THE GROUND OF BEING.
THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AT THE CORE.
THE INFINITE POSSIBILITY OF YOU.
That is why we go deeper in our quest and study… knowing much of “who we are” comes from conditioning, patterns, reactions, and unconscious desires, and that there’s more under all that!
Because I’ve met that Soul Essence of Divine (in tiny glimpses!) and I know it’s worth the practice, the discomfort of traversing tight pathways and rigid structures that hold its immersion back from being born… I wrote a poem about this Soul Birth process you can catch on IGTV HERE.
Love is at the core of the quest. (Another reason why I said yes to that summit! Cause it’s about love 🙂
Thanks for reading my mystical metaphysical ideas, concepts, poems and feelings as we all continue to grow together.