Contact

Connect

Literary Agent

Marilyn Allen,
O’ Shea Agency

⁣ I would like to apologize to all the beings I

⁣
I would like to apologize to all the beings I have judged.⁣
⁣
Yes, I am talking to you.⁣
⁣
And I am talking to my Self. ⁣
⁣
I judged us!⁣
⁣
I was awful.⁣
⁣
Awful.⁣
⁣
A b*tch.⁣
⁣
Sometimes I have really been a b*tch.⁣
⁣
But just so you know, I was judging me worse than I judged you. ⁣
⁣
Yes, I know that is terrible.⁣
⁣
I’m sorry I hurt me.⁣
⁣
And you. ⁣
⁣
But guess what?⁣
⁣
I dont *regret* it.⁣
⁣
Being the villain, being the Cruella, the Ice Queen.⁣
⁣
I hope it inspired you and me both, served its purpose and can retire gracefully now!⁣
⁣
This Internal Discernment System ⁣
keeps me real, true.⁣
⁣
I know when it’s time to have her take a backseat, and I know when she is telling me:⁣
⁣ “Girl you’re being fake as f*ck! Get REAL.”⁣
⁣
She doesn’t let me get away with playing Nicey Nice. ⁣
⁣
Though it’s a mask many of us wear well, do we not?⁣
⁣
Mine deserved an Oscar at times!
⁣
I did grow up in Georgia, ⁣
trained as⁣
Scarlet O’ Hara, ⁣
Sweet Smiles ⁣
full of sugar free ⁣
peach preserves- ⁣
⁣
I imagine somewhere women have sat in rooms and called me things - ⁣
at least *I hope*⁣ they have...⁣
cause I need that little ⁣
ZING ⁣
to crumble my ⁣
Sweetie Pie Masks⁣
And get me ⁣
REAL⁣
⁣
Suhhhhweeeeetie ⁣
⁣
But !⁣
Sometimes ⁣
OFTEN⁣
I am truly sweet dripping ⁣
in honey cause ⁣
I ⁣
love ⁣
love ⁣
love ⁣
You⁣
⁣
You can *****taste**** the difference between honey and artificial sweetener right?⁣
⁣
Yes, you know.⁣
⁣
I prefer honey straight from a dripping comb- ⁣
⁣
Licked off fingers- ⁣
⁣
That feels good to give you-⁣
⁣
Saccharine Mask is burned and buried!
⁣
But the B*tch will stick around for when I need a good wake up, she keeps me real-⁣
⁣
Honey and Ice ! ⁣
⁣
Truth above all⁣
And sometimes ⁣
the ⁣
Truth Hurts⁣
So⁣
Good⁣
X⁣
⁣
Working on LESS judgments⁣
over here⁣
More ⁣
*discernment* ⁣
MORE LOVE ⁣
Part of Quarantine Ceremony !⁣
An O-b*tch-uary⁣ Poem
X⁣
⁣
Photo by brilliant @bloodboneandhoney

Here is me practicing not hating or judging myself

Here is me practicing not hating or judging myself for being “too much” :) ⁣
⁣
For loving dancing at midnight to kate bush and frank ocean and Jefferson airplane !⁣
⁣
For saying “Yes let’s go buy firewood and make a fire even though it’s 1 am! I love and adventure!”⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The journey of trusting love ⁣⁣
and trusting new friends ⁣⁣
and trusting and loving myself ⁣⁣
Is such a mighty beautiful one !⁣ As I say no to that which doesn’t feel like Love⁣
⁣
More Love finds me⁣
⁣
Trusting I can discern moment to moment where to lean in and where to walk away,⁣
⁣
That’s been the toughest part -⁣
⁣
My feet are lovingly massaged by a friend ⁣
⁣
Another friend holds her heart on mine and tears spill in silence ⁣
⁣
You ask me questions about my life at dinner and call me a deep and radiant woman ⁣
⁣
Why did Love seem so complicated?⁣
⁣
I rub your back⁣
⁣
You tell me I look like a painting ⁣
I bring you a cup of wine⁣
⁣
You think of me and cast spells on the deserts you make, for me to meet my King⁣
⁣
Your eyes catch mine and we speak a language beyond words ⁣
⁣
You open your home and heart to me again and again, though at times I’ve been hesitant to trust, old heartbreaks getting in the way ⁣
⁣
You tease me and make me giggle with glee ⁣
⁣
I see you⁣
⁣
You see me ⁣
⁣
We’ve sat in ceremonies, you’ve wiped my tears, you know my demons and I know yours⁣
⁣
And I will be there for you anytime ⁣
⁣
This last week was so filled with Friend Love ⁣
⁣
That my Heart melted after these months mostly alone at home, and it was so clear ⁣
⁣
THIS is Love⁣
Soak it up Honey⁣
It’s for You!⁣
⁣
You don’t have to work for it⁣
It doesn’t have to hurt⁣
Just receive ⁣
⁣
My journey with all the Love here in LA has been slow, slow heart opening, some confusion at times about where I fit in and who to trust, but all that melts away as my heart softens and the judgments and separation laughs at me, ⁣
I am home ⁣
⁣
Thank you to my East Side New York Artsy Queer Friends⁣
⁣
And also my West Side Topanga and Malibu Tantrik Gods and Goddesses⁣
⁣
I am integrating both sides of me and it feels so good to have you all :) ps. thank u to my queer brother @shawnbutton for playing, what a king !

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.”-Anais Nin
🌸Heart and face bedazzled with Love🌸 After skipping out of LA to the desert, seeing a shooting star, being enveloped by cedar waters, dancing under a pink sky, walking barefoot, making pancakes in the kitchen while dancing, laughing uncontrollably, making a fire late in the night, laughing laughing laughing- this is it, this is it, why did I think there needed to be more? This is enough, more than enough🌸

Last week I asked my friend Daniella “Am I too p

Last week I asked my friend Daniella “Am I too picky?” ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
She said: “Are you?” ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I replied: “No.”⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
She smiled.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I continued: “I met you when I was meant to. I met all the key characters in my life at the exact right time and I just *felt it was right.* Patience!”⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It took me until about this year ⁣⁣⁣
to admit ⁣⁣⁣
and ⁣⁣⁣
RELISH ⁣⁣⁣
my deep deep ⁣⁣⁣
need ⁣⁣⁣
For Another⁣⁣⁣
In the fulfillment of⁣⁣
My Destiny⁣⁣⁣⁣
My Deepest Desires⁣⁣⁣
And Greatest Yearnings.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I have not wanted to admit all that. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I was like “I am ready! I am open.” ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
When I was not. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I was still afraid of that deep surrender. ⁣⁣⁣
I had a lot of internal work to do if I didn’t want to attract a partner from my shadows or closed spots-⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And I have! ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And it’s been beautiful. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And so so painful! ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I kicked and screamed for a lot of it.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I had to learn to say no too, gracefully,⁣⁣⁣
and sometimes I was very not graceful! ⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And sometimes ⁣⁣⁣
I said no too late ⁣⁣⁣
and had to endure ⁣⁣⁣
a lot of ⁣⁣⁣
chaos⁣⁣
quaking ⁣⁣⁣
from my ⁣⁣⁣
Shadowed Yes⁣-⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
While the whole process of meeting different potential ⁣⁣⁣
Loves ⁣⁣⁣
has been⁣⁣⁣ *excruciating* ⁣⁣⁣
for my feminine heart⁣
to get *so* close to the ⁣⁣⁣
Divine Union ⁣⁣⁣
I so deeply crave-⁣⁣⁣
The Awakening ⁣⁣⁣
The Healing ⁣⁣⁣
The Process⁣⁣⁣
Has been⁣⁣⁣
SOUL ART and
often comedy!
⁣⁣⁣
I am now ⁣⁣⁣
*excited* ⁣⁣⁣
that the ⁣⁣⁣
most ⁣⁣
exciting ⁣⁣
part ⁣⁣
of my life ⁣⁣⁣
has ⁣⁣
yet ⁣⁣
to ⁣⁣
come⁣
!⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Wow.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I was mad about it for so long, ⁣⁣⁣
like a little brat ⁣⁣
with pigtails, ⁣⁣
my Lolita ⁣⁣
writhing ⁣⁣
impudently ⁣⁣
against my ⁣⁣⁣
Soul’s Outlaid Path.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And now I lay in the ⁣⁣⁣
Great Mystery⁣⁣⁣
Steeped⁣⁣⁣
Teeming⁣⁣⁣
Overflowing...⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Bless those ⁣⁣⁣
who can endure the pain,⁣⁣⁣
I see you-⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It feels much easier to settle-⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
To endure holding the ⁣
Desire ⁣⁣⁣
The ⁣⁣Yearning⁣⁣
of wanting to be so
deeply
met⁣⁣⁣
Knowing in your bones what it feels like...⁣⁣
Tis a Numinous Ritual for a Courageous Heart. ⁣
⁣
🌹 Happy New Moon 🌹⁣
⁣
Pic by @_pleione feels like Fair Maiden / Juliet waiting patiently ♥️

I spent so much of this life in a quiet internal d

I spent so much of this life in a quiet internal dance of dominance and submission,
between my
Mind and my Body.

My body was the submissive.⁣
⁣
My mind was the dominant. ⁣
⁣
“Put that cookie down!” ⁣
⁣
“Stop feeling that feeling!” ⁣
⁣
“You are very bad for that big big desire of yours!” ⁣
⁣
The incessant commands and demands and insults I hurled at my own body started at a very young age.

My appetite for living and loving and being in this body and my capacity to feel were so BIG!

They scared me.
And so this internal struggle developed
I learned not to trust my body
It was unclean
Impure
Wild!

My body’s tears
And cries
And big laughter
And big thighs
And big sensuality
needed to be quieted
Or I would be seen as
perverse
Bad
Gross
Unloveable !

The Dominant inside me was a hardcore
perfectionist
Who was obsessed with
keeping me
thin
nice
good...⁣
⁣
So all those other parts of my
Juicy Wild Soul
crept into shadows,
Locked in closets,
Banging on walls,
And they only were freed by accident with tequila
Or a strong PMS!

When they got loose they would be mad !
Eat a whole cake!
Text an ex !
Do whatever to rebel against the internal dominant
The Dictator⁣
Inside⁣
That said: ⁣
“Be pretty!⁣
Be successful!⁣
Be praised for your ideas! ⁣
Not your feelings! ⁣
Your mind, not your body!“⁣
⁣
I would go behind the tyrannt’s back and let myself be
praised for my body⁣
Worshipped for my loving⁣
Adored for my ability to feel

I gulped it up like Sweet Nectar knowing
*this*
Is my destiny-

I may be very smart
But I do not want to live by my smarts
I want to live by my Heart
My honey dew eyes
And golden thighs-

It’s been a journey to trust my body is divine
Is god
Goddess

To stop with all the pure and impure nonsense I took in from spiritual traditions asking me to transcend my body.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣
⁣
My *body* is the gateway.
⁣
My Dominant Inner Tyrannt
has turned Loving King
in these last years
He treats me like a precious jewel now
Protects and provides
And let’s me feel and write poetry and be loved for that...ah sweet relief xx

Today on @sacredspacemiami 4 pm ET I am doing an IG live about the sacred sensuality path of divine through the body! Come!

In betweens dreams this morning I heard “You mus

In betweens dreams this morning I heard “You must honor you and @sabrinaelisabetha! It’s she who has helped you so diligently build your business in the last 3 years! And so I wanted to publicly honor this Queen- for being the Queen of Operations for my work for 3 full years this month! ⁣
⁣
I did not really understand money or business when we met, nor did I want to. (Still prefer art/poetry!) I had like 3 clients and a few online salons and had been acting/directing mostly and knew I needed help to start a real business and transition my work.⁣
⁣
We met at a cafe and I hired her for a few hours a week. ⁣Three years later, we work together every day! (Except fridays, we don’t work fridays! 🥳)
⁣
This woman has helped me go from that to running two full fledged businesses, multiple programs and retreats.⁣
⁣
We’ve provided support and sacred space for thousands of women in person and online together. ⁣
⁣
We’ve learned how to have a feminine business, where we don’t push, we listen to our bodies, we work by the cycle of the moon, and we allow time for our internal work and never “power through.” ⁣
⁣
It’s been a wild journey creating together. ⁣
⁣
She is a warrior goddess and the strongest person I know. We’ve sat in ceremony, been dangled by ropes, sat in the ER in Mexico City, been on tons of airplanes, climbed mountains, wiped tears...she’s the person I am in contact the most these last 3 years and I built Biz from scratch with and who held down the fort while I wrote a book. ⁣
⁣
She’s dealt with my Gemini rising mind changing and my emo pisces and Brazilian temper like a saint and never run away. ⁣

I’m so grateful for this woman’s love and support and patience with me over these last 3 years.⁣
⁣
After these years with me she is now taking on her own clients and expanding @radicalawakenings with me ! ⁣
⁣
Hire her as your coach/healer/mentor!! She is amazing!!⁣
⁣
Happy 3 Year Collaboration Anniversary Virgo Queen ! ⁣
⁣
Without you I would be a Creative Force and a Vision with no Earth to ground it! Thank you thank you, may there be many more exciting years! (Mask by my dear friend @annatelcs !)