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Literary Agent

Marilyn Allen, O’ Shea Agency

alexandraroxo

Writer, Healer, Teacher of the Embodied Feminine Path, Student of Love 🌹
↠1st book coming 5/19 with @soundstrue📕
↠ @radicalawakenings, retreats, 1:1:

I said: “Maybe we should get matching tatttoos t

I said: “Maybe we should get matching tatttoos that say Earth Angels.”⁣
⁣
(Maybe we have found each other amidst this vast realm and we mustn’t forget our mission.)⁣
⁣
You said: “I accidentally carved a candle that said Earth Angel on it last week.”⁣
⁣
And so I bought pink lipstick at duty free,⁣
because I was tired of red.⁣
⁣
It burned me and made messes on lovers that were hard to remove, karma I’m still repenting. ⁣
⁣
Pink seems safer.⁣
⁣
And when I bought the lipstick the woman told me: “if you’re going to travel you should research and get the vaccines.”⁣
⁣
She said her friend was sick for 6 months after a rare salmonella from France.⁣
⁣
I couldn’t quite stay focused on her words.⁣
I was tired. She handed me the color she chose: “Under the covers.⁣”
⁣
Earth Angel buys Mac lipstick. Take 5.⁣ ⁣
Highly unnatural, but it felt comforting and human to buy a lipstick at the airport like something the women in my Brazilian family would have done.⁣
⁣
How many airports have we cried at?⁣
⁣
After all the ceremonies,⁣
The gatherings.⁣ ⁣
How many soul contracts did we make that keeps us laying hands on people?⁣
⁣
Wiping tears ⁣
Fielding fears.⁣
⁣
How many women have we held as they cried?⁣
How many prayers have we spoken together in rooms,⁣
Where candles are lit⁣
As we summon the sacred into dark corners, ⁣
Learning to make light beams of our smiles?
⁣
In training schoool learning to not let fear win⁣
Kali yuga style ⁣
Diving into a pool of fear and seeing if our light beam hearts really work⁣
(For a light beam heart amongst only light doesn’t know its full shine)⁣
But when we go into dark corners⁣
I paw through the dark⁣
I forget how to turn the light on ⁣
You speak of death⁣
My light beam heart isn’t turning on fast enough,⁣
Fear is flooding my body⁣
Some days I am more Earth than angel⁣.
⁣
I remember in moments ⁣
A kiss⁣
A hand on my neck⁣
The windows down and hair blowing⁣
A Jump into water⁣
And then I forget again ⁣
That one split second where I understood the whole universe disappears in thin air ⁣
And then it returns. ⁣
Breathe by breathe⁣
Moment by moment. The practice. ⁣
⁣
Written in flight from Mexico City to Los Angeles. Photo by @inherwoods.

The pleasure of waking before anyone else.⁣ ⁣

The pleasure of waking before anyone else.⁣
⁣
Tidying.⁣
⁣
Why do I find such comfort in tidying?⁣
⁣
Placing shoes in rows. Cups in the sink. Jackets hung. Straightening books. Opening windows and letting air in.⁣
⁣
When I lived with a family in Tuscany my “Italian mother” Paula would say every morning one must open all the windows of the house and let out the night. ⁣
⁣
I like to imagine Night sauntering in and cozying up alongside me and in the morning me ushering it out with the grand opening of a window which would suck out the Night, with the humans asleep in beds, with our temporary amnesia, not knowing where we spend our nights truly. ⁣
⁣
Remembering vague images from dreams. ⁣
⁣
But I like to imagine where we go in the dark hours.⁣
⁣
Soul meetings. With our behind the scenes team. Like production meetings, talking characters and scenes and choices and roles and plot twists and turns. Getting insight from the producers.⁣
⁣
And then the amnesia when we wake. ⁣
⁣
But somewhere inside a deep sense of direction leads us somewhere new, the soul direction from the late night meetings alchemized in our cells. ⁣
⁣
And from there we live. With the wisp of a soul direction gently guiding.⁣
⁣
Making life.⁣
⁣
I have made many beautiful memories.⁣
⁣
I have slept in a monastery with no one else in there. Alone on a hill.⁣
⁣
I’ve picked a fig from a tree on the side of the road in a far away country and eaten it, wiping its juices on the back of my hand. ⁣
⁣
I’ve been sung to by candlelight in a bathtub, by someone I love.⁣
⁣
I’m here to live.⁣
⁣
I’m learning to be human.⁣
⁣
I’m learning to bring more love and aliveness into my humanness.

When everyone wakes I like to have the candles and incense already lit. The music playing. The kettle on. The heart warmed.
⁣
-Morning Musings, post Oceanside writing retreat on our Initiation team pilgrimage in Mexico City. Me and this group of Wild Devoted Mystical Womxn, Healers, Teachers, Poets and Space Holders. Lovers and Dreamers. Paying homage to Divine Mother, to Love, and to each other. ⁣ We’ve gathered for years now. In service. In love. In devotion to the path. I’m so grateful. Blessed be.
Pics by @hailskp 🌹

Last year at this time everything was different.⁣
⁣
I’d tried to go back to New York, and after returning from India found myself cold and depressed, sending a text to Moun and my mom saying: “Things are really dark inside me. I need to say it aloud.”⁣
⁣
So I did what I know to do. I fled to warm air again. For relief.⁣
⁣
I was heartbroken because I’d fallen in love with someone poly and I thought I was that progressive, but turns out I wasn’t. And so I went and I sat with them and we cried together, hand in hand as I said goodbye.⁣
⁣
So I tried falling in love again to remedy that pain, but it was back in New York, and I loved myself better that. ⁣
⁣
So I rented a cabin in Topanga to finish my book, to find peace. ⁣
⁣
To let things be. ⁣
⁣
While I was there I got a black mail email.⁣
⁣
Then I got a hate mail from someone I loved.⁣
⁣
Heart cracking more.⁣
⁣
Then I found new romance. We soared into the sky but forgot to lay the foundation, to put our roots into the Earth. ⁣
⁣
My inner foundation wobbled and the love crumbled too. ⁣
⁣
It wasn’t sturdy enough for my storms or the wild fires that those months were bringing. ⁣
⁣
It was time to lay roots for myself. Make my home. Finish my book. Put the romance aside for a bit. Go within. So I did.⁣
⁣
Ceremonies. ⁣
⁣
Retreats. ⁣
⁣
Time alone. ⁣
⁣
Time with my work. ⁣
⁣
Decorating my home. ⁣
⁣
Healing. Shedding. Crying.⁣
⁣
My dad and I made peace after 30 years of subtle wars.⁣
⁣
My ex business partner / best friend and I made peace after 4 years of not speaking. ⁣
⁣
My heart! Renewed.
⁣
This time in Mexico last year my heart was deep in its healing. ⁣
⁣
This year inside it is calm. Peaceful. Warm. ⁣
⁣
A different heart. ⁣
⁣
I even wrote in my journal the other day...”How come I feel in love right now? Am I about to be? Am I in love with me? My life?”⁣
⁣
It doesn’t matter. ⁣
⁣
It just matters the opening. ⁣
⁣
The stitching on my heart is barely visible. ⁣
⁣
The rubble of crumbled walls has been swept away.⁣
⁣
I don’t know what’s coming next, but I know this heart, and I feel how soft and strong and tender it is, with no more walls, and no scar tissue blocking its loving.⁣ Happy Valentine’s Day. ♥️🌈 Pic by @inherwoods

How do you have such courage?⁣ ⁣ To allow your

How do you have such courage?⁣
⁣
To allow yourself to fall apart under my watch?⁣
⁣
To crumble under my gaze?⁣
⁣
The way you drop your masks so willingly without pause brings me to my knees.⁣
⁣
The way you unleash the storms of centuries through your tears and cries makes my lips tremble.⁣
⁣
The way you so willingly share your heart after its been trampled on, stolen, crushed and broken-⁣
⁣
The way you dare to re-enter your body even though it was a battleground many times, deemed unsafe, protected with barbed wire and yellow caution tape, under investigation, closed until further notice.⁣
⁣
And yet you say “Fuck it.”
⁣
You unleash your screams⁣,
You let the light return to your eyes.⁣ As I walk around the room I am walking through Invisible Volcanoes and Tsunamis⁣
The Birth of a Long Lost Feminine⁣
Who Shakes me to my Core⁣-
⁣
I can see how some men are overwhelmed when one woman cries and screams in their arms, in their care, for the power of the unbridled feminine is immense...As I welcome the tears and rage of 20, 30, 40 women I wonder if my 5,3 frame will crumble from the quakes of 10000 rapes, a trillion voices repressed, a million animals killed, a billion orgasms, the laughter of snow covered mountains and the rage of rivers bursting free from man made dams like Beserkers running into battle in a state of ecstatic blissful rage !
⁣
Even when my knees shake⁣,
I feel the Grandmas hold me⁣. I look to my sides and see my sisters.

We nod when we know the room is open. Alive. We cross eyes when we are afraid and need each other. And we usher out the imprisoned pains and woes and griefs and fears and holding back and being afraid and we send those babies to the heavens and into the soil as best we can...⁣
⁣

Day 3 of Retreat. Heart filled with gratitude and love and awe for this life. Overflowing. In love with this group. The sky. Our healing. Our courage.⁣ Thank you to this Amazing Group. ⁣
⁣
To @jenarobi and @sabrinaelisabetha apprenticing hand in hand with me, my warrior women sisters. ⁣
⁣
To @inherwoods for all the photo / video love and tears too. ⁣
⁣
What a life. May we pay it forward with love like a wild light show upon many hearts.

Something I have been deliciously savoring lately

Something I have been deliciously savoring lately is *being considered.*⁣
⁣
Life is busy. ⁣
⁣
Fast. ⁣
⁣
Real, deep human connection that nourishes the soul often feels at a premium. ⁣
⁣
And so *to be considered* feels so good, so loving, so nourishing.⁣
⁣
When a friend texts: “What are we doing for your birthday? Let me help. I’ll come set up with you.”⁣
⁣
Swoon.⁣
⁣
Or another friend in Paris says: “Send me your lingerie sizes. I wanna get you some beautiful things I saw.”⁣
⁣
Melt. ⁣
⁣
Or my best friend’s two year old FaceTiming me because he wanted to show me his raccoon costume.⁣
⁣
That was all. Just thinking of me.⁣
⁣
A friend I sat in ceremony with 4 years ago sending me a book on Jungian feminine archetypes out of the blue with a card marked “Luna.”⁣
⁣
Someone I met once, in a fleeting moment of overwhelm, leaving me flowers on my doorstep before my weekend retreat.⁣
⁣
To be considered.⁣
⁣
To be thought of.⁣
⁣
Is a delicious way to receive love. ⁣
⁣
As the world zooms by, people doing “important” things, staying busy, making money, becoming “somebody” — the moments we consider each other. We give our time and presence. Our full attention.⁣
⁣
Are love. ⁣
⁣
I am so grateful for those dear humans who *consider* me. ⁣
⁣
You teach me to love better.⁣
⁣
*Written at 3:30 am. Hotel. Mexico City. Posted from Mazunte, by the ocean.

“The process of initiation in the esoteric and m

“The process of initiation in the esoteric and mystical traditions in the West involves exploring different modes of consciousness and rediscovering the experience of unity with nature and the cosmos that is inevitably lost through goal-directed development. This necessity- for those destined to it- forces us to go deep to reclaim life’s of consciousness which are different from the intellectual, “secondary process” levels the West so well refined. It forces us to the affect-laden, magic dimension and archaic depths that are embodied, ecstatic, and transformative; these depths are preverbal, often pre-image, capable of taking us over and shaking us to the core.” ⁣⁣⁣
- Sylvia Brinton Perera, “Descent into the Goddess.” ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Getting ready to dive with our writing retreat by the sea. The deep feminine reclaiming.⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
A book that showed up yesterday from a sister in Seattle who isn’t on social media, doesn’t *know* where I’m at on my path- but is also on the core shaking path. So she just knows. We sat in ceremony 4 years ago. Again 3 years ago. I stayed at her house while I was studying curse unraveling and journeying with a wonderful teacher years ago. She introduced me to tantric Buddhism then. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
One of the friends that gently opened many doors. Helped me feel less alone with her similar deep chthonic pulls. Important to cherish those ones who who walk similar paths as you so when the road gets dark you can reach for their hands.

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