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Marilyn Allen,
O’ Shea Agency

❤️‍🔥Part 2 of 2: On Receiving Deep Love…continued from last post❤️‍🔥
…That is why the work I do with women isn’t around rules or dogma or “this is the way” or absolutes- it’s around learning the language of your own heart and body so you don’t mistake your programmed mind’s messages for truth.
Because your life and happiness depends on it.
If I had made decisions from “he is supposed to be A, B, C. So I won’t settle and I will wait” then I would not be experiencing the deepest most beautiful love of my life.
Let go of how you think it should be.
Learn to feel deeply under it all.
Learn the language of your soul.
Learn to discern the voices inside and where they come from.
Learn to feel past the pain and the stories you’ve outgrown.
Love is always there - I did deep work for 6 years until I was ready to be met in my own heart’s stream- and even then it was/is a journey to receive.
Thank Goddess I opened instead of closed in that moment.
Wishing you all COURAGE cause that’s what it takes to leap, open, receive and FEEL truth.
😘 Alexandra
#marionwoodman #depthpsychology #healing #embodiment #relationships

❤️‍🔥Part 1 of 2: On Receiving Deep Love…❤️‍🔥
Last June I had a private session with a teacher who was mentoring me around intimacy. I was telling her about this man I had met and how much I liked him but I wasn’t sure our life paths were fully aligned.
I was a public person, and on a certain path, and he was private, and his life seemed more modest than mine.
Her words to me were something along the lines of “Wait for a man who has money, power AND spirit. You don’t have to settle.”
I heard her. It wasn’t bad advice. But it didn’t feel 100% resonant to me.
Luckily I am very independent and I listen to myself first. Always. Even when I was a child I was very strong willed when it came to most things.
I felt deep in my guts- my own relationship to being seduced by gobs of fame and money was rooted in capitalist programming and SHADOW.
So why would I hold a man to that? If he’s not a millionaire public person than he’s not my dream guy?
I am SO F-ING glad I went with my heart and soul and am deeply in love with a man who is so present and so deep and does his work beautifully even though he isn’t all over the internet. He is also powerful and does well, just doesn’t flaunt it!
I wonder how many women listen to this kind of advice:
“Your king will come! Don’t settle!”
And sure there are non-negotiables.
But there are also unreal expectations rooted in fantasy.
My own cloudy vision at the time (we all have subjective vision) could not SEE all of my partner when I met him. But I stayed with it anyway.
My gut was a FUCK YES.
Even if my mind was terrified and like: “Does he check off all the boxes in king land?”
My heart and gut knew truth.
It pains me when I hear women all up in their heads about is he conscious enough, masculine enough, strong enough, rich enough- it PAINS me.
The body and heart’s language are where truth lies IMHO.
And I don’t mean the reactive body or a trauma response.
I mean the grounded feelings and truths under the surface.
And this takes skill to discern…
Continued in next post 👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼

People ask me sometimes how you do have confidence

People ask me sometimes how you do have confidence? How do you have wisdom? How do you have the courage ?
Because I take risks!
And I fail OFTEN!
I am not afraid to bare my soul and still fail.
In fact I love it even then cause I’m freaky like that. 😁
I’ve loved hard
I’ve lived hard
I’ve made tons of mistakes
I’ve looked into my shadows deep again and again and again
I’ve got my hands dirty in life
And I don’t think I will ever stop.
We expand by LIVING
By doing the things we are afraid of
Not by staying clean and organized behind a computer screen !
But by RISKING it all.
Getting out in the ring
And making stupid mistakes and failing and standing up again and doing it again !
Thank god I am as good as failing as I am at succeeding.
Highly recommend it for you - scroll to the end for why.
✌🏼♥️😘 Alexandra

Some days living with an open heart feels terrible

Some days living with an open heart feels terrible. But being in a conscious partnership begs me to stay open. But sometimes I don’t wanna!
There are too many feelings waiting to be felt…
The pain of the world!
Family!
The planet!
And…being in deep relationship or yearning for one.
It is messy living with an open heart.
It would seem much easier to shut down and stop feeling and “play it safe…”
To close that heart up and protect her and attempt to maintain some semblance of okay-ness…
But what I have learned is when you close your heart and go into your head-
judgment, criticism, analysis, over thinking…
you cut yourself off from the magic of life,
love,
art,
beauty,
love making,
human experience.
It happens in a split second!
You were there living open hearted and then
BOOM
you’re in your head
judging
and planning
and all of a sudden
you can’t feel the music playing and
you eat lunch without tasting any of it!
It’s so painful when we notice “OOPS I CLOSED OFF!”
And then “WAIT HOW DO I OPEN AGAIN?”
Sometimes opening again can take time and tears
Or laughter and hugs
Sometimes it takes days to coax the heart back out
But she always comes back
She wants to be open
She wants to live as Love
Even when it hurts
♥️Alexandra
Notes on being in Conscious Relationship where there is no hiding!
Pic by @bodyscapesinnature
Poem by me
#consciousloving #consciouspartnership
#love #embodiment #spiritualpath #hearthealing #pathoflove #intimacy

Too big, too loud, too small, too quiet, too tall,

Too big, too loud, too small, too quiet, too tall, too emotional, too dreamy, too weird, too tender, too silly, too far out…the list goes on and on and on of the lies that visit us in our sweet little heads! (What lies visit you? Share below.)
And the “not enough” list is long too! Not pretty enough, not soft enough, not happy enough, not powerful enough, not talented enough…
These lies dictate our behaviors, our desires, our dreams, our loving…with a little voice: “If I just get it right I will feel better.”
What if we could leave behind the shame about all of it and accept ourselves as we are?
What if we could see it all as a lie from an outdated culture that causes a shame cloud
to hover over our gifts
of expression
and art
and love-
and *instead*
stop believing the lies?
Love from there
Create from there
Laugh from there
Cry from there
Heal from there
That is my hope. Happy Monday.
May we all have the strength and awareness to stop living by a hurt world’s standards and be liberated in body, mind and spirit and let that spread to all beings and the Earth.
Loving you. You’re doing great.
xo
Alexandra
*Cited from Nin but no authentic source found but I like feeling she said it 😉
#anaisnin #selfacceptance #shamehealing #spiritualawakening #embodiment

“There are one million ways people pretend. Ways

“There are one million ways people pretend. Ways people turn away from who they truly are, and from seeing what they are truly made of.
People construct personas that are cardboard cut outs of Who We Wanna Be, the Fake-it-til-Ya-Make-It-Selves, and then spend their whole lives trying to live in them.
How do I know? Because I was once a pro at it. I started pretending when I was a little girl…”
✍🏻Excerpt from my article that went out yesterday: “To Be A Woman That Doesn’t Pretend” stories from my own journey of finding my breath and my feelings after a life of pretending with disordered eating, tobacco addiction, perfectionism, IBS, family alcoholism and other light and fluffy things!😇😂
But very human things. Woman things.
Life things.
It’s raw and real writing that doesn’t fit into an IG caption so go have a read and let me know what you feel.
✍🏻Read the full essay at alexandraroxo.substack.com.
Big love. Thanks for reading. Love you all. Without readers what is a writer? So again thanks for reading.
😘😘😘
Alexandra
Dress by my dear @shopkristinit 🌹
#embodiment #breathwork #disorderedeating #addiction #perfectionism #healingjourney #memoir