A Poem from a sometimes reluctant Heart…
I met you and you lead me into a dark cave, through a field at night, letting you lead me,
Your outstretched hand to me asked me to heal the anger I carried towards men, and the patriarchy-
You asked me to stare into my father wound and see where the coming into wholeness and love has actually just begun-
You asked me to stop wearing my nars orgasm sparkle blush and put away my flowery sweet perfume as you “prefer my natural aroma”-
You asked me to sleep under the stars and stop sharing everything online and put the phone down and look up-
Some of these things you asked me without words…
Others you demanded lovingly from me with direct clarity.
You asked me to broaden my view of what is success?
What is truth?
What is love?
What is family?
What is spirit?
You called me onto cliff edges,
And I cried and hated you for pushing me to that edge of fear!
And for asking all of this from me!
Asking me to swim at sunrise in the ocean?
Hike down a mountain in the dark?
Not share about all our magic online?
Stop wearing pink blush?!!
Sacrifice some of my ego bull shit and see where I am a real practitioner and where I am still stuck in my ego?!
And yet, I get so mad at you…
When you don’t love me the way I saw in movies,
I wanna walk out the door and wait for someone who will do it like my fantasies!
When you call forth my hidden wounds and trauma that I can’t reveal with anyone else,
I first hate you for it!
And then fall to my knees in gratitude that you showed me where I was numb or shut off to love and where a new road awaits.
And… I love being loved by you.
Being read poetry by you.
Sung to by you.
Walking towards cliff’s edges…
And in groves of quivering trees…
Maybe one day I’ll be less reluctant to swim at sunrise,
Walk in the pitch dark down the mountain,
Stand by the cliff’s edge,
Throw my blush and tinted moisturizer and self tanner away,
Show you More of Me.
Especially the Parts I am terrified to reveal…
Maybe I’ll stop getting mad I can’t wear my beautiful silk fancy dresses while hiking a mountain, or maybe I’ll find a way to adapt those dresses so boots fit underneath them…
Maybe I’ll accept all of this as the greatest gift I didn’t know I needed…
Even if sometimes I kick and scream my way there…
And whatever comes, I am beyond grateful for this journey as much as I resist at times.
A sometimes brave and sometimes reluctant heart.
An homage to me and my clients and all the Hearts opening after rejection, abandonment, betrayal – being brave enough to OPEN!
If you wrote a poem from your Heart to the Heart of Your Beloved… what might it be? A beautiful ritual for the New Moon…
Practice + Playlist:
One thing I stick to with all my clients and in all my work is doing the work to come from the head into the heart and live as much as possible in the heart to heart axis…
I also know how hard it is to be a HEART person in a HEAD centric culture or world.
One way I support other women into this journey from head to heart… from the rational, analytical, logical into the compassionate, empathic, generous feeling space is through embodiment practice. (We don’t rid ourselves of the logical BTW – we just come into greater clarity about when we use that, and when we are in the juicy feeling heart.)
I have one practice FREE on Insight Timer that deals with feeling sticky feelings like rage and grief. It’s one that it can help to have support to clear through the feelings with a guided practice. ACCESS THAT HERE.
If you want to do your own guided heart opening journey, here is a playlist I made just for that! LISTEN HERE.
It’s a 45-minute practice. And if you follow the instructions from my book, or simply from the free Insight Timer practice, you can do your own.
I also have a guided practice avail HERE.
On the feminine embodied path, I have found my core practices to bring more SOUL/SPIRIT/GODDESS into my life to be sacred writing, embodiment practice (as I curate in my Radical Awakenings method: combo of breath/sound/movement) following the lunar cycle/nature cycles, sacred plant ceremony, and turning pain and wonder and the ups and downs of human experience into ART.
Also… reading the mystics on repeat… year after year after year…opens me, softens me, and dials me back to that tender open space.
(Stay tuned for practitioners I rec in the coming months who have been studying with me! And stay tuned for upcoming classes with me in the summer/fall!) Two of the women in my Initiation program last year are leading a group program later this month that include our embodiment work and method!
Two Spots Opening for 1:1 Mentorship With Me:
I have two spots opening for 1:1 coaching and mentorship with me starting in June. Read more about the areas I specialize in, what enlivens me to support women in and more HERE. Read about people’s experiences with me HERE.
Wild Mercy by Mirabai Starr
Highly, highly rec for anyone drawn to the mystical, feminine heart path. (Regardless of gender!). This book has brought me to tears again and again recently. SEE MORE HERE
love letters to and from the soul by Hailey Brynne Kemp
Hailey is one of my Initiation program graduates and during the program, she wrote and published her book! Hailey’s readings of her poetry to our group throughout last year brought laughter, tears, and deep love to our container… SEE MORE HERE
Juicy Love to you and your journey of Heart and Soul – I walk with you – healing together with you in this wild messy beautiful human process, and wishing you a wonderful New Moon…